{"id":584,"date":"2026-01-19T18:37:16","date_gmt":"2026-01-19T18:37:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/?p=584"},"modified":"2026-01-19T18:54:37","modified_gmt":"2026-01-19T18:54:37","slug":"why-i-like-having-options","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/why-i-like-having-options\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Like Having Options"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Asha \u2014 sexologist, pleasure activist, and the woman who refuses to schedule desire.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People love to ask women like me the same tired question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAsha\u2026 why so many partners?\u201d
As if desire needs to justify itself.
As if my body is a committee decision.
As if pleasure must be rationed like it\u2019s wartime sugar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So let me answer with a smile \u2014 slow, knowing, unapologetic:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I like having choices<\/strong>.
Because my desire isn\u2019t a polite request \u2014 it\u2019s a force<\/em>.
And because I refuse the idea that a woman should sit around waiting, quietly, for a man to \u201cbe available\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not available to be delayed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not collecting men.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m collecting experiences<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s be honest: a woman\u2019s pleasure is complex, intelligent, and wildly situational. I don\u2019t wake up the same woman every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some mornings I\u2019m soft and glowing \u2014 skin hypersensitive, lips hungry, body tuned like an instrument. That kind of desire doesn\u2019t want a meeting. It doesn\u2019t want a negotiation. It wants someone who understands the sacred, lazy heat of morning sex<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But not every man loves morning sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some men wake up like a spreadsheet.
Some need coffee before they remember they own a pelvis.
Some are sweet, but they want to \u201cwarm up\u201d for 40 minutes like they\u2019re preheating an oven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I have options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man for slow mornings.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One for wild nights.
One for that feral look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s the one who knows how to touch me like I\u2019m made of satin \u2014 gentle dominance, a steady hand, the kind of confidence that says relax, I\u2019ve got you<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then there\u2019s another who worships softness \u2014 the one who can hold eye contact like it\u2019s foreplay, who makes the whole room feel quieter, like the world is giving us privacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yes, there are men who are pure fire \u2014 the passionate, assertive types who don\u2019t ask ten questions about what I want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They already know: I want intensity.
I want sensation.
I want to feel claimed \u2014 by choice<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the part that matters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t \u201cneed\u201d men.
I don\u2019t \u201cdepend\u201d on men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I select<\/em> them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Im not into monogamy.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I’m into agency<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not doing this for attention.
I\u2019m doing this because I\u2019m an adult woman, with a body that speaks fluently \u2014 and I\u2019m finally done pretending I don\u2019t understand the language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For generations, women have been trained to act like sex is something that happens to us<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something we \u201callow\u201d.
Something we \u201cgive\u201d.
Something we \u201ctrade\u201d for affection, commitment, approval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sex is something I choose<\/strong>.
And it\u2019s for me too \u2014 not as a reward for a man, not as proof I\u2019m lovable, not as a relationship maintenance chore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My pleasure is not a side quest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also? Men are not always available.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And this is where my honesty gets dangerously attractive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men have work. They have moods. They have exes. They have \u201cI\u2019m tired\u201d and \u201ctomorrow\u201d and \u201cnot tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\u2019m not going to make my desire smaller to fit someone else\u2019s schedule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not going to sit on a sofa pretending I don\u2019t feel that pulse in my body \u2014 that ache that says touch, now<\/em> \u2014 while waiting for someone to call me back like I\u2019m ordering a takeaway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I want intimacy, warmth, skin, attention \u2014 I want the ability to choose the man who is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • into it<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • available<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • aligned with the energy I\u2019m in<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • and capable of giving me exactly what I want without treating it like I\u2019m \u201ctoo much\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    Because I am<\/em> too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And that\u2019s the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Different men bring out different versions of me.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    And I like all of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The playful version.
    The luxurious version.
    The dominant version.
    The surrendered version.
    The goddess version.
    The \u201cdon\u2019t talk, just come here\u201d version.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    One partner cannot be every flavour, every mood, every season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And I\u2019m not here to live one-note.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019m a full spectrum woman.
    And I deserve full spectrum pleasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My sexuality isn\u2019t wild.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    It\u2019s well-managed<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Let\u2019s end the hypocrisy: when men have options, it\u2019s called \u201cconfidence\u201d and \u201cfreedom\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    When women have options, people panic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    They call it reckless.
    They call it broken.
    They call it attention-seeking.
    They call her a slut and a whore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But what it really is \u2014 is power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Because the moment a woman realises she can say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cI want this.\u201d
    \u201cI don\u2019t want that.\u201d
    \u201cI want it now<\/em>.\u201d
    \u201cI want it like this<\/em>.\u201d
    \u201cNo, you haven\u2019t earned access to me.\u201d
    “Yes, I am a cock-loving slut, so what?”
    “Yes I love being a whore – I’m in control”..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u2026is the moment she stops being controllable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And that\u2019s<\/em> what scares people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019m not waiting to be chosen.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019m the chooser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I love men.
    I love masculinity.
    I love strong hands and soft mouths and confident energy.
    I love the mix of sensuality and a huge cock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But I love myself<\/em> more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So yes \u2014 I like having multiple partners to choose from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Not because I\u2019m desperate.
    Because I\u2019m free<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Not because I\u2019m searching for love.
    Because I\u2019m committed to pleasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And because I will never apologise for being a woman who knows what she wants \u2014 and refuses to wait politely for it – and GETS IT!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Asha<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    By Asha \u2014 sexologist, pleasure activist, and the woman who refuses to schedule desire. People love to ask women like me the same tired question. \u201cAsha\u2026 why so many partners?\u201dAs if desire needs to justify itself.As if my body is a committee decision.As if pleasure must be rationed like it\u2019s wartime sugar. So let me […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":586,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,8,5],"tags":[16,17,15],"class_list":["post-584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","category-relationships","category-sexuality","tag-mulitple","tag-polyamory","tag-threesome"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":587,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions\/587"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ashamoore.com\/hu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}