Why I Like Having Options

By Asha — sexologist, pleasure activist, and the woman who refuses to schedule desire.

People love to ask women like me the same tired question.

“Asha… why so many partners?”
As if desire needs to justify itself.
As if my body is a committee decision.
As if pleasure must be rationed like it’s wartime sugar.

So let me answer with a smile — slow, knowing, unapologetic:

Because I like having choices.
Because my desire isn’t a polite request — it’s a force.
And because I refuse the idea that a woman should sit around waiting, quietly, for a man to “be available”.

I’m not available to be delayed.

I’m not collecting men.

I’m collecting experiences.

Let’s be honest: a woman’s pleasure is complex, intelligent, and wildly situational. I don’t wake up the same woman every day.

Some mornings I’m soft and glowing — skin hypersensitive, lips hungry, body tuned like an instrument. That kind of desire doesn’t want a meeting. It doesn’t want a negotiation. It wants someone who understands the sacred, lazy heat of morning sex.

But not every man loves morning sex.

Some men wake up like a spreadsheet.
Some need coffee before they remember they own a pelvis.
Some are sweet, but they want to “warm up” for 40 minutes like they’re preheating an oven.

And that’s fine.

Because I have options.

One man for slow mornings.

One for wild nights.
One for that feral look.

There’s the one who knows how to touch me like I’m made of satin — gentle dominance, a steady hand, the kind of confidence that says relax, I’ve got you.

And then there’s another who worships softness — the one who can hold eye contact like it’s foreplay, who makes the whole room feel quieter, like the world is giving us privacy.

And yes, there are men who are pure fire — the passionate, assertive types who don’t ask ten questions about what I want.

They already know: I want intensity.
I want sensation.
I want to feel claimed — by choice.

Here’s the part that matters:

I don’t “need” men.
I don’t “depend” on men.

I select them.

Im not into monogamy.

I’m into agency.

I’m not doing this for attention.
I’m doing this because I’m an adult woman, with a body that speaks fluently — and I’m finally done pretending I don’t understand the language.

For generations, women have been trained to act like sex is something that happens to us.

Something we “allow”.
Something we “give”.
Something we “trade” for affection, commitment, approval.

No.

Sex is something I choose.
And it’s for me too — not as a reward for a man, not as proof I’m lovable, not as a relationship maintenance chore.

My pleasure is not a side quest.

Also? Men are not always available.

And this is where my honesty gets dangerously attractive.

Men have work. They have moods. They have exes. They have “I’m tired” and “tomorrow” and “not tonight.”

Fine.

But I’m not going to make my desire smaller to fit someone else’s schedule.

I’m not going to sit on a sofa pretending I don’t feel that pulse in my body — that ache that says touch, now — while waiting for someone to call me back like I’m ordering a takeaway.

If I want intimacy, warmth, skin, attention — I want the ability to choose the man who is:

• into it
• available
• aligned with the energy I’m in
• and capable of giving me exactly what I want without treating it like I’m “too much”

Because I am too much.

And that’s the point.

Different men bring out different versions of me.

And I like all of them.

The playful version.
The luxurious version.
The dominant version.
The surrendered version.
The goddess version.
The “don’t talk, just come here” version.

One partner cannot be every flavour, every mood, every season.

And I’m not here to live one-note.

I’m a full spectrum woman.
And I deserve full spectrum pleasure.

My sexuality isn’t wild.

It’s well-managed.

Let’s end the hypocrisy: when men have options, it’s called “confidence” and “freedom”.

When women have options, people panic.

They call it reckless.
They call it broken.
They call it attention-seeking.
They call her a slut and a whore.

But what it really is — is power.

Because the moment a woman realises she can say:

“I want this.”
“I don’t want that.”
“I want it now.”
“I want it like this.”
“No, you haven’t earned access to me.”
“Yes, I am a cock-loving slut, so what?”
“Yes I love being a whore – I’m in control”..

…is the moment she stops being controllable.

And that’s what scares people.

I’m not waiting to be chosen.

I’m the chooser.

I love men.
I love masculinity.
I love strong hands and soft mouths and confident energy.
I love the mix of sensuality and a huge cock.

But I love myself more.

So yes — I like having multiple partners to choose from.

Not because I’m desperate.
Because I’m free.

Not because I’m searching for love.
Because I’m committed to pleasure.

And because I will never apologise for being a woman who knows what she wants — and refuses to wait politely for it – and GETS IT!

Asha